this is the end of my story



(this is my story)

I recently celebrated the one year anniversary of my blog. Over the past year I have written more content than ever before. There have been highs and lows throughout the entire process. I have loved creating content and sharing my insight and heart with others. Through it all, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

I’ve glanced over my blogs and realized I have a major shortcoming. I am often worried and very insecure. I write about it pretty often as well. I have spent so much time thinking about and wondering about and worrying about where God wants me. I haven’t seen much change in the area where I serve. My community is sinking in despair, looking for hope in sex and drugs.

I’ve also noticed I grow more and more frustrated when my blog doesn’t see big numbers. Of course I always feel happy and content when the views are higher but that only shows my happiness is completely circumstantial to the how well the blog is doing.

I’ve met some really awesome people and I have been honored to step aside and allow a number of people share on my blog. The ride has been a roller coaster to say the least.

Not long ago, I felt this desire to church plant. I don’t know why though; church planting is hard work. It is something that continually keeps coming back to me, again and again and again. Recently, I shared the news that I was planning on moving to Texas but I didn’t have a set time when I would do so.

So began the process of asking God how and why things would work out. Questions became frustration and led to worry and insecurity. I came to wake up one morning, excited about the possibility of moving and then I would wake up the next day worried that I was making the wrong choice.

I’ve never really know the exact reason why I started to blog in the first place, just that I wanted to write. I finally have an answer to that question. In the most simple terms possible: I want to share my story with you.

(this is my confession)

I like reading. A lot. I love reading but i also read very little. Those sound like a contradiction but it isn’t. I have tons of books, tons of them. Yet, as many as I have, there are a handful at best which I have actually read. I like reading just not a lot of reading. That’s why I love blogs. Of course, I subscribe to so many that I am so far behind I doubt i’ll ever catch up.

Without fail, I tell myself, again and again, I need to read this or that because I think it will be for my own benefit. In addition, I love reading quotes from social media outlets (face book and twitter mainly).

So the issue that came up is that when ever I felt God saying something, I would read Scriptures and quotes. As far as church planting, i have one of the most unlikely stories ever. Most church planting stories go like this…
The planter is serving in a church.
The planter has experience in the church.
The planter is called to plant a church with a specific location in mind.
The planter’s call is confirmed by the church where he currently serves.
The church where he serves becomes the sending church.
The sending church acts as a mother church and sends him and often a small team out.
The rest is history.

I don’t share that story. Yes, I have served in the local church and have been ordained. Yes, I feel like God wants me to do something but I don’t always know what that is. I look at what he has called me to, I look at my gifts and pray and seek counsel. But I always struggle because i feel like I am in the middle hearing two voices, by reading endless quotes, blogs and books.

About a week and half ago, I felt God press on my heart, “Who are you listening to? Me or other people?”

I have freedom in Christ. With that freedom, I am letting go…

(this is my resignation)

I am NOT planting a church, I am following Jesus so he might build his church.

I am NOT moving to Texas, I am following Jesus to Texas.

I am NOT qualified to lead others, Jesus is my qualification for all he calls me to.

The great thing about my story is that its finally over. I am no longer the point of the story; Jesus is.

this is the end of my story| written by mike monica


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