building a better me (part two)

“And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…” (Ephesians 5:20-21, 25)

One thing I know is that I am far from perfect. I have a lot of maturing and growing to do. It’s easy to put things off and simply say I’m on a journey. Truth is, I read a quote earlier in the week that discussed how God has given us complete freedom in our minds and it is up to us to respond to him. (Take that Calvinists. Just kidding! I side with Calvin on many issues)


As I get a little bit older I sometimes think about marriage. Not always but sometimes I do. I think about the kind of man I want to be if God decides to allow me to be married. One of great aspects of the Word is that it provides direction into who we need to be. That includes what God wants husbands to be. The picture couldn’t be any clearer-the way a husband is to treat his wife is identical to the way Christ treats his church.


  • Christ Loves His Church.

1 Cor. 13:4 “Love is…”

To understand love, we need to look no further than 1 Cor. 13. With the definition of love so plainly in sight, I simply need to insert my life into the equation. Am I being patient? Am I being kind? Am I being honest? Am I living with complete integrity?

Give me the desire to be the kind of man that loves through all circumstances.
  • Christ Served His Church.

John 13:8, “…Jesus answered, “Unless I wash your feet, you have no part with me.”

Christ was willing to do the work that was commonly ascribed to a slave. When a guest would enter someone’s house, the slave would untie their shoes and wash their feet, to remove any dirt. Christ served humanity with a humble attitude. Jesus became like us so we could become like him.

Christ continues to serve the church through the generosity of spiritual gifts. Christ’s invitation is to serve with him and to serve like him. In marriage, husbands must be those who are willing to meet the most basic needs of his wife (and family) and serve them with an attitude of generosity.

Give me the desire to be a steward of all things so I might serve.
  • Christ Leads His Church.

Col 1:18, “And he is the head of the body, the church…”

Christ leads his church by praying for them. He honored those who would belong to him. He left an example through service, love and unconditional grace. There was no one that was too far out of reach for his loving kindness.

Give me the desire to follow You more closely so I might lead.
  • Christ Died for His Church.

John 15:3, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

In my personal opinion, this is perhaps one the greatest verses in all of Scripture because it lays the foundation for what a marriage should be: first and foremost, friendship should be the key focus. Friendship is where true intimacy lies; friendship should be the root from which everything else flows.

Lord, take me as I am; make me into you who desire me to be.

-End Notes-

1.  Eph. 5:20 (

2. 1 Cor. 13:4 (

3. John 13:8 (

4. Col. 1:18 (

5. John 15:3 (



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